Comments on: How to AVOID Dating Time Wasters https://matthewhussey.com/blog/how-to-avoid-dating-time-wasters/ Have The Love Life You Want Tue, 07 Feb 2023 04:03:06 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.6.1 By: Anna Jamey https://matthewhussey.com/blog/how-to-avoid-dating-time-wasters/#comment-1181119 Tue, 07 Feb 2023 04:03:06 +0000 https://matthewhussey.com/?p=75901#comment-1181119 That’s it really.

You message them, and they reply, and you have a conversation and it peters out. And you complain about time wasters.

The truth is, they gave you a chance, you didn’t rig their bell. It’s not necessarily your fault, you didn’t have anything in common. But they did engage with you and it didn’t work.

There are endless men complaining about people on dating sites who won’t “give decent men a chance”. Maybe, but they are not wasting their time. You’ve met someone who did give you a chance, and it didn’t go anywhere, so you invested time that didn’t pay off.

]]> By: Melanie Wise https://matthewhussey.com/blog/how-to-avoid-dating-time-wasters/#comment-1180812 Tue, 31 Jan 2023 18:29:34 +0000 https://matthewhussey.com/?p=75901#comment-1180812 You’ve nailed me to a ‘T’ in this post. I have been on my own nearly 40 yrs after my husband cheated on me and got another woman pregnant! For years I thought there must be something wrong with me, so if any man showed me attention, I thougt they were worth investing in, but I always ended up disappointed & alone. I’ve always been happy with my own company and independent so was never prepared to settle for just any man rather than be alone, (hence why it’s nearly 40yrs being on my own. In 2021 I found myself developing feelings for a neighbour I’d befriended post Lockdown who’d come to my rescue with a problem in my Flat I was unable to deal with myself. I know I liked talking to him and stroking his dog, but never gave a relationship with him a second thought until I came across a list I’d made of all the qualities I was looking for in a man I would want to spend my life with. I was amazed to realise this man had nearly all of them! The problem was he had an ex-partner who was Toxic and they have a Son together, (was 11yrs at the time).When we first started talking he revealed a lot to me about his situation and made me feel honoured he felt comfortable enough to share these things with me. He helped me move when I was given an eviction notice and even lent me the money to pay the cost of Removals in April. Everything was fine until I told him in a letter about my feelings that July – he looked extremely agitated as I watched him read it, then said “Cool”, going on to say he couldn’t commit with all that was going on with him. I wasn’t asking him to, I just wanted to get to know him better to see if the Chemistry was there, but he started pulling away. He stopped popping round to see me, stopped ringing/texting, and I didn’t know why!
I went to see him a few weks later and he seemed genuinely pleased to see me, (I always got the sense that he liked me too by his actions, although he never told me he did, but he had this uncanny ability to know what I was thinking, whereas he was a total mystery to me).!
Despite telling me he would visit me again, (more than once in the coming months), he never did, but I still foolishly still clung on to the belief he would turn up at my door declaring undying love, (how sad is that). He wasn’t there for me when I was diagnosed with Cancer last year, or when I needed a Friend leading up to and during the Christmas Holidays & my Birthday on January 3. I finally got to see another sideto him on January 8, when he shut the door in my face & told me to go away in no uncertain terms.Harsh, but it was what I needed to finally let him go!

]]> By: Merav https://matthewhussey.com/blog/how-to-avoid-dating-time-wasters/#comment-1180749 Mon, 30 Jan 2023 10:35:19 +0000 https://matthewhussey.com/?p=75901#comment-1180749 Great one! really resonate with me.. the anxious avoidant trap is something very familiar to me.
One questions though; what if the scarcity mindset is not coming from the belief that guys will not like me (worked hard on my confidant there :), but coming from not finding guys that I like? That’s a bit harder to argue with as it is coming from years of experience and I know that the type of men I’m looking for is hard to find. So when I do find one (even if he’s avoidant), it’s really hard to let go. I’ve managed to end it with the last guy without much damage to my confidence, but I still struggle with the missed opportunity, wondering if I was too quick to dismiss it and should’ve been more patient with him, the feeling that I still want to be with him and afraid I will not find anyone like him again. In a world where as a women, the older you get and the more successful you get, your pool is getting smaller and smaller, how do you deal with the scarcity mindset?

]]> By: Nicki https://matthewhussey.com/blog/how-to-avoid-dating-time-wasters/#comment-1180724 Sun, 29 Jan 2023 21:25:27 +0000 https://matthewhussey.com/?p=75901#comment-1180724 Brilliant video Matthew!
Totally identified.

]]> By: Nicola https://matthewhussey.com/blog/how-to-avoid-dating-time-wasters/#comment-1180722 Sun, 29 Jan 2023 19:20:03 +0000 https://matthewhussey.com/?p=75901#comment-1180722 This is a fabulous video. Just what I needed to hear this morning. It has helped me so much. Thank you.

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