By: vorbelutr ioperbir

vorbelutr ioperbir — Mon, 21 Aug 2023 09:07:25 +0000

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By: Genie Slement

Genie Slement — Sun, 16 Jul 2023 21:36:26 +0000

Hi Matt, this ‘Love Bomb Red Flag’ caused me an epiphany in my recovery! I have been trying to get over my ex for 2 1/2 years. We started a long distance relationship prior to Lockdown in 2020 (essential workers). Our relationship was slow initially but rapidly gained momentum. I’m very independent, cautious of men, have a great career, no children, my own house. I allowed him to literally sweep me off my feet with ‘Love Bombs’.. and I had no idea!
I had never met a man who was so forthcoming about his feelings and what he wanted with his life. (I was 48yrs, he was 54).
His list of ‘Love Bombs’ included:
He bought a large van to convert into a camper and sent me a pic saying ‘look what we now own!’ – I actually believed he wanted to go in halves with me so withdrew my share to give to him next visit. (Turned out he had bought it with a married woman who lived up the road so their teen kids could have a project to work on together.. Red Flag in itself).
Weeks later he sent me a pic of a jewellery shop telling me to “Pick a ring”.. “Do you want it now or when we get married..?” He followed this up with txts: “You haven’t answered the question yet..?” and again “You still haven’t answered the question..?” I ignored these but when I did bring up the messages during my next visit, he laughed and told me he was still married to his ex-wife, separated for 6 years but they hadn’t got divorced yet. (Another Red Flag, I know).
He offered me the opportunity to have a baby with him, ‘putting the idea on the table’, so I could be ‘everything I ever wanted to be..’
He sent me pictures of houses he liked the look of for ‘our future house’.
I was on a constant roller coaster of emotions. I became anxious – he blew hot and cold, I was unsure what he wanted with me. A few months later, just before Christmas, he wanted a break. During our 2 week break he planned to meet another woman (he’d met while we were together) and started a new relationship. Needless to say I have struggled for all this time actually believing that because he had planned all these things with me – that he would eventually realize his mistake and come back! How crazy’s that?!! Strangely enough, I love spontaneity in my life but his impulsiveness worried me.
I have read all sorts of courses to help me but your single Red Flag article is the missing piece I needed to link everything I’ve learned together, one giant conclusion.. he didn’t mean it, it was just fantasy to keep me hooked in a sad, desperate way.
Still, it’s important to learn and acknowledge Red Flags like this as it could’ve stopped me a huge amount of pain and remorse. I’m still reluctant about a ‘next’ but a big Thank You for this insight.

Comments on: This Romantic Gesture Is Actually a Sign He’s NOT SERIOUS

By: vorbelutr ioperbir

By: Genie Slement